6 Heart-Centered TIPS for Handling Uninvited Questions and Advice From Family & FriendsDec 20, 2022
Holiday time can bring up a lot of stuff.
And it brings in a lot of opportunities for well meaning fam-damily and friends to spark up conversations about your business, – convos that might not be helpful for your mindset.
Curious minds want to know!
Whenever you spend more time family-ing and friend-ing, you’re likely to walk right into at least one awkward, uncomfortable, or potentially triggering conversation about your business, your precious and special work, or about money.
If you’re a soulful, heart centered woman entrepreneur, you will find that people are wildly and endlessly fascinated by how you do what you do and how much money you make! And often they don’t hesitate to ask!
Remember that you are at a beautiful high vibration, and that makes you highly attractive and people are drawn to you. It’s just physics and energy. And it’s true. You naturally attract people to you because of this beautiful vibration and it also makes people curious and feel safe opening up to what you bring to the table.
Other people inquiring and questioning can chip away at your money mindset, healthy money relationship that you're growing, nurturing and protecting, and your biz confidence. This is especially true if you're just getting started in your business or you are experiencing any kind of mindset or money triggering stuff right now within yourself.
People asking you questions about your business, or offering unsolicited advice about your business can make you doubt yourself, cause all kinds of anxiety to surface, and create distraction, confusion, or even paralysis for you. Basically it brings up all the money-shizzle that you’ve been working so diligently to move beyond.
When I stepped out of the “safe job” into working for myself in my “dream job,” my mother couldn’t see me without asking, “How are you going to pay for healthcare? How are you going to make enough money to live on?”
I grew to resent these questions (and at times, my mom) because throwing these questions at me completely knocked me off my game and poked giant holes in my mindset that I had worked hard to discover and nurture.
Protect your mindset.
Sometimes people mean well when asking these questions.
Sometimes they ask from a place of unconsciously justifying their own decision to stay in a job they hate and forgo following their own dream. If by questioning you they can prove that it isn’t going to work, or it is going to be so unbelievably hard, then they can still feel fine about doing the 9-5 thing instead of breaking free into their own entrepreneurial path to wealth and abundance.
Some of the people in your family-friend circles will be super excited for you and truly be wonderfully supportive of you! If you have these gorgeous souls in your circles, be grateful for them, keep them close, and let them know how much you appreciate them!
During the holidays and all the associated gatherings, you may find yourself in the midst of some uncomfortable, unhelpful conversations about your beloved biz, money, and your ability to make it all work.
So I’ve put together some simple tips and magical mindset mantras to get through these wonky convos and stay on track with your dreams, your income. and your goals.
TIP #1: It is safe to be different.
It is not your job to be understood by everyone. It is not in your DNA to be the same as everyone.
And…not everyone is your ideal client, so their opinion about your business is none of your business. The bottom line is their opinion about your business, or you, really doesn’t matter.
Having to be understood by people other than your ideal client is a money block, a sabotaging belief, and will always affect how you show up in your business, talk about, and make money from your work.
As a soulful, heart centered business owner, of course it matters to you what others think! You are most likely the most sensitive person in the room at most gatherings you attend.
What people think, other than your ideal soul-mate client niche, about your work and your business just.doesn’t.matter. Period.
They don’t need to get it – or get you.
Your work matters to those you help, and it matters to you.
You deserve respect to be just as you are, not having to fit inside anyone else’s box.
It’s okay to not be understood by everyone.
TIP #2: Tune up your energetic boundaries.
You can't control others, but you do have control over how you respond. Awkward money or biz conversations are the perfect fodder to do some personal excavation into those juicy, tender, vulnerable money stories we cover in my Money Freedom Program.
As you navigate any awkward or unsupportive comments, observe yourself and your desire to respond defensively. This is a sure sign there is a money story there for you to dig into, reveal, and release.
If someone says something like "It must be nice to make your hobby your business...", notice what comes up for you.
- Do you immediately feel the need to defend yourself?
- Do you suddenly want to throw in the towel and get a job at the feed store?
- Do you want to punch someone in the face?
- Do you feel a deep sense of fear and anxiety and start to sweat and doubt your ability to pay your next phone bill?
What comes up for you is important. These are links to your money stories, your money blocks, and most importantly, your new beginnings with money. And what better way to explore all of this than through the lens of your own business?
The Universe dreamed this up for you – because you need it. So buckle up and stay on the ride!
You don’t need to justify anything about your business, to anyone, ever. Honestly, sometimes simply reminding yourself of that is all you need to smile and change the conversation to something that's easier to navigate.
Here's the key:
The more someone's comments shake and unsettle you, the more you need to care for the parts of yourself that are speaking up – and right in this moment that is your belief in yourself.
Tend yourself first. If someone’s getting under your skin with their lack of support, get curious:
What about their attitude is tweaking me?
- Do you subconsciously believe them on some level?
- Do you need to do a little digging to reveal some inner blocks that are asking to be seen and healed?
Let your family-friend gathering time be an experiment. Allow these people to be welcome mirrors for you and see what reflections are coming to light.
The truth is, as painful as unsupportive (or plain old unknowing and insensitive) family/friends can be, it usually won’t knock you around if you're feeling solid and strong within yourself about your own dreams and goals.
It might feel uncomfortable to be misunderstood and unsupported, but it doesn’t have to knock you off your biz foundation, money mindset, and belief in yourself.
Give yourself the respect and opportunity to observe your reactions and observe them to reaffirm the inner work you're doing!
TIP #3: Turn the topic back to them.
This is a classic, and I am masterful at this in my party conversations!
Everyone loves to feel significant and to talk about themselves. Even if they say they don’t, they do. They secretly long for the opportunity to share what is true for them.
So if dear Uncle Francis asks you how much money you are able to pull from your business doing whatever it is that you do, you can simply answer…
“I’m doing great! I love being able to support myself doing what I do. What did you love doing in your job as _________?”
It's super simple.
Or try this one…
“I love being profitable in my work. What was something you really loved about your work and what you did for a living?”
It’s not in the energy of contesting or challenging, it is simply shifting the question and focus back to them. You are modeling wonderful respect and curiosity by asking a way more appropriate question about people’s motivation in their work.
Chances are that you’ve kindly helped this person to feel some significance and their focus moved from questioning you to reflecting on their own story and experience.
TIP # 4: Know your appetizers.
This one is great. It’s really simple and quick.
First, scan the appetizer table first to be able to name one or two that is being served.
Then, when someone asks a nosey question about your work or your money such as, “How much did this certification cost you, and what has been your ROI?” simply say, “Aw, yeah, it was worth every penny, have you tasted the olive tapenade? It’s really delicious!”
This is the strategy of giving as little information as possible and then changing the subject is sooo valuable!
It is absolutely perfect to leave business talk and money chat for your mastermind group, your coach, your biz-buddies. These are people who have earned the right to be close to your business and your business heart. These are people who are in the boat with you and understand the value of no leaks.
TIP #5: Do the Co-Captain Test.
What should you do when someone offers you unrequested advice about your business?
I can still remember the time someone told me I should forget working with women entrepreneurs and go after a clothing line that sported my Heart 2 Heart With Animals brand because that is where I would meet the masses and be in everyone’s world every day. Last I checked, my soul-mate clients are not wearing baseball caps and logo branded sweatshirts every day!
While this can be well meaning, it is also assuming and pushy. It’s also awkward, and can lead to you questioning yourself for no good reason.
Whenever someone gives me biz advice or shares their wisdom about making money, I do what I call the Coach/Co-Captain test.
- Would I trust this person as a valued coach about my biz?
- My relationship with money?
- My income?
- My offers?
- My creativity?
- My passion?
- More than that: Would I pay them for their guidance and coaching for 6 months?
- Would I let them be the Co-Captain of my dream biz?
If your answer is no, quickly thank them for their thoughts and say silently to yourself, “That’s not for me.” It is really important to say that part. It sets your own boundary and supports your mindset in staying strong and not wavering.
TIP #6: Stay tuned in with a buddy.
If you know you’re in a new or vulnerable place in your biz and mindset, it is totally brilliant to prepare yourself with some friendly backup.
When I was starting my coaching business, I struck up relationships with 3 other women who were embarking on a similar journey as me.
We shared our goals and ideas and growth process. We held each other as powerful and accountable and called BS for each other when we needed it. We developed trust, loads of respect, and beautiful friendship.
Having these women in my world has been a profound asset.
Truth is, I'm well established now, but the solopreneur business can sometimes be lonely, and we all get hung up in the weeds at times. I still talk to my biz bestie every week!
Find someone in your circle, in your arena, who can be a biz bestie for you. You deserve to be seen and see yourself in another brave and creative woman doing all the things!
Sidenote: If you need more support like this, join us in Money Freedom & Soulful Abundance. You will find your people!
Use these gatherings as confidence boosters!
Parties and gatherings can be a tough time in general for many reasons, but it's also a great time to shore up all those energy leaks and boundaries you've got in place for your money mindset & business.
It can feel different to start your own business and rely on your very own creativity and gifts to make your money and your mark in the world. And the bottom line is… it IS different! It is super amazing, unique, courageous, and powerful to do what you’ve done!
You thrive on being different. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this and wouldn’t be committed to bringing your magic to the world in your own way.
You came here to create wonder, renew perspective, build wealth, ignite transformation, and change the world with your message, gifts, and talents. So prioritize taking steps to protect your money mindset and your sacred business.
Stay grounded and strong in the face of nosey questions and unrequested advice. Trust your filters and your gut. Honor yourself and your business with strong energetic and verbal boundaries.
Remember that your courage to go after your dreams can be a huge trigger for some people to witness. They simply haven’t found the courage to do so for themselves. Your creativity, progress, and success might just bother, trigger, annoy, or cause others to itch just enough that they feel the urge to challenge you. That’s all about them. It has nothing to do with you.
Those are not the people you are here for.
You are allowed to have a thriving, beautiful, money-making business doing what you love, and I am right here to help you make the journey as easy as possible.
Hop on my Soulful Abundance Email list, and when you want my support, join us in Money Freedom, where we do this deep inner work around releasing money blocks and creating the biz and life of your dreams every day.
Cheers to you and your abundance!
P.S. Enjoying more freedom and abundance in life and business means serving more while working less and making more money! Time freedom and money freedom are the bomb!
When you’re ready, here are four ways I can help you...
- Join me in my free Facebook community and let me know what freedom looks like for you in your life and business
- Pick a time to talk with me 1:1 about your vision, your work, and what you want in life and business
- Work with me in my money mindset and abundant business coaching program. Just reply to this email with the words "Naturally Prosperous" and let’s chat about how to bring more money and freedom into your life and business
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