Protect Yourself from “Comparison-itis!”

Have you ever been infected by the dreaded “comparisonitis?''

Have you ever:

• Felt like you are behind in your business and everyone else has it together and you are never going to catch up?   
• Worried that asking for help makes you feel worse, as though needing help means you are “needy?”   
• Felt all alone and like you should be able to figure it out yourself?  

“I’m an entrepreneur! I should know how to do this!” you cry.

Comparisonitis is normal - especially for those of us who have created businesses based on something that we are passionate about and that is so closely related to our own stories. 

Having a business creates vulnerability. There’s an intimate relationship between you and your clients, so of course it can leave us feeling a little insecure sometimes. You can be uncertain that you’re not conveying exactly what you do or how you help.

These feelings can take you to a dark place, fostering the false belief that you don’t have what it takes. 

Fear not! There are so many things you can do when this creeps up.  

What you don’t want to do is chuck it all and quit.  

And you don’t want to scrap what you’ve been doing and start over.  

I’m going to give you a re-frame today so you can pull yourself out of comparisonitis and back into the flow of making a powerful impact, meaningful results for your clients, and substantial income for yourself. 

Listen up. 

Nobody has it all together all the time. 

We all start at the same place. 

And you might even be surprised to know that everyone, I mean everyone, has a different version of the same crapola to move through, work on, release, let go of, and grow beyond.

What I love about my clients is that they recognize the consequences their struggle is having in their lives and they’re not afraid to ask for help. 

Here is a great re-framing sequence that will help you to get your butt out of comparisonitis and stuck-ness, and back into the flow of money, abundance, and fun in your business. 

How to Reframe Your “I’m Stuck, I Suck” Situations

Step 1

Name the situation you are dealing with. 

Describe it, label it, call it out into the light. 
“I am struggling with ________________”.
“I am dealing with ___________________.”
“I am not happy with ______________________ in my business.”

Be honest with yourself. Describe the situation as if you were describing it to someone else. When we add someone else into our imaginary audience, we get more realistic about the problem and it doesn’t always feel like the catastrophe we are making it out to be.

Step 2

Explore what you are making the situation mean about you and your business.  

What are you allowing this situation to say about you?  About your ability to be successful?   About your skills and your expertise in your craft?   

About you as a person?  

Is the situation really as bad or as significant as you are making it? 

Is the situation as overarching as you feel it is?   

We tend to be really hard on ourselves when we compare ourselves to others and we tend to criticize ourselves more than we deserve.   

Be honest with yourself about what you are making or allowing this situation to mean about you. 

Complete this sentence: 

This is what I’m making this situation mean, ___________________________.

Step 3

Does this situation remind you of something? What?? 

So often our feelings and responses to situations that occur in our entrepreneurial journey are triggered by something in our past or something that is related to a trauma or shameful event in our lives with either our success, money, or with our self esteem. Does it trigger a memory that you have from a former job or with a former boss? Does it remind you of times when you disappointed someone in your family? Or of a time when someone told you that you weren’t successful or wouldn’t be successful? 

Think about whether the situation has happened before and could be a pattern or part of a cycle.   Does the situation happen repeatedly? At the same time every year or month? 

Complete this sentence: 

This situation reminds me of _______________________________. 

Step 4

Decide what you are going to do about it.

What is the decision you want to make? What is an action you want to take?

Declaring your game plan means you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and not hiding from it, or worse, blaming someone else. 

The blame game never works for your highest good. 

Decide to take action on the situation or decide to make a mindset shift about the situation. 

Finish this statement:  

I’m going to try _______________________.

Let’s run through this re8frame with an example so you can see exactly how this works.

Step 1 - Identify the situation.

"I haven’t made any money in my business this month. I suck."

Step 2 - Identify what you are making the situation mean about you and your business.

Ask yourself what the situation says about you in your mind. Is it that you are never going to make any money? Are you making up an old story? In the back of your mind, do you believe that setting money goals never works for you? That you shouldn’t even try? That you are just awful as an entrepreneur?

(*Usually we are making the situation mean wayyyy more about us than it does. We usually put incredible weight on the meaning of these situations, usually to the detriment of our self esteem.) 

Step 3 - Ask yourself what this situation reminds you of.

Does this happen every year at this time?

• Is it a recurring pattern?
• Does it happen at certain times of the month?   
• Is it self-sabotage?  
• Do you hear the words or warnings of a well meaning family member who said things about you or your abilities in the past?  
• Are you living out someone else’s expectations for you or for themselves?  
• Is it because you are bumping into someone else’s thoughts and feelings about money?  
• Does it remind you of a situation or feeling you had a long time ago?   

Write about the situation and uncover the feelings that you had back then and how they are similar to the feelings you are having now.  

Never forget, you are not awful at this and you aren’t confused.   

You are just doing what is natural and normal when you are elevating and expanding in your business, being resistant when feeling the uncomfortable stretch of growth. 

Get back on track. Ask for help. Get some coaching. 

Remember: coaching isn’t about someone telling you what to do, it is about someone helping you to find the answers from within yourself. 

Coaching, done well, never takes you down the wrong path.

 It empowers you to confidently walk your own path.  

It is your time, and you are ready for what comes next. 

To defend yourself against “comparisonitis,” you might have to

• Work on your mindset so you start to think, feel and act like the CEO of your prosperous business.  
• Work on your money blocks and money relationship so you can finally step into receiving the money you want and deserve.  
•  Discover who is your ideal client so you stop working with people who don’t make progress, don’t want to pay your fees, or who want something for nothing.  
• Create a system in your business that you can easily repeat with all kinds of clients to set you apart as an expert in your related field.  
• Work on your pricing and really owning your worth.   

It may be as simple as getting back on the horse and taking steps forward.  

We are not meant to go it alone. As humans, as women, as healers, coaches, consultants, therapists, and practitioners, we need each other.  We are hardwired for connection.  

Ask for what you need.